When's the last round?

I think I may have had an epiphany this morning. Ok, epiphany might be a bit of a strong word but I did realize something. I was sitting, well standing, in the doorway of my guest bathroom after just weighing myself. I was trying to figure out when I'm going to start myself on a new workout schedule. Then I started to think, how many times have I been here? Probably too many times to count. I know I started back when I was in high school. There was a class trip coming up and I wanted  to wear this little mid drift top I had bought without my mother knowing. I probably lost weight by starving myself since that is what is popular among teenage girls. At any rate I rocked my little shirt and thought I was 2 cute. Eventually I gained the weight back tho. So that I'd say was round 1.

Round 2 was college and the damn freshman 15. I lost that and then some, again by starving myself and working out twice a day. I must say, when I look back at pics from that time I looked almost sick. I was way to little. But clearly I didn't feel that way at the time. Definitely don't want to go back though. I know I must've had a another relapse at some point during college (always do) and subsequently felt the need to lose a bunch of weight again. We'll call that round 3.

4, 5 and 6+ Have been since I moved to Tucson. Not even sure how many times I've yo-yo'd since I've been out here, but at least 3 or 4 times. But basically I have been trying to lose the same 10 - 25 lbs since I was in high school. Maybe not the exact same, but my point is it's been 12 years and I still have made no progress. In fact if I think about myself 12 yrs ago and now I've actually made, um... what's the opposite of progress? Congress? (A lil election day humor)

I came to realize this this morning because for some reason I was looking around at all the fitness paraphernalia I have in the house. I felt the need to try and calculate how much I've spent over the past 6 years. Why you may or may not be asking? Because I was about to order some more crap online and I was asking myself is this really a justified purchase? Is this going to be the one thing that does it? After I buy this one laaaaast item, I'll be in shape for the rest of my life? OF COURSE NOT! If I include gym memberships with all the crap sitting around my house I've spent over 3g's trying to lose the same weight. 3 g's!! and I have NOTHING to show for it. This is probably why the fitness industry makes so much money, because of people like me (smh, they got me good).

I have been throwing money at a problem all these years like that's going to solve it. I've got so much crap idk if I can even name it all. On top of my gym membership there is P90X, Insanity, Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire, Chalean Extreme,  an exercise pole, Fluidity, resistance bands, yoga mat, a couple of hand weights, ankle and wrist weights, a chin up bar a $400 blender for goodness sakes!! A BLENDER!!! WTF?!?! When does it end?

That's it! I'm not spending ANY MORE MONEY on fitness crap. I AM DONE! (after I buy this one last thing then I'm done). Seriously though. I probably need to look into a change in life style if getting in shape is what I really want. Once I change my mind, my life style and my relationship with food. that's when it ends I guess. And all that is free.  I am getting way too old to be out of shape. If I don't do something now, I might as well just give up and get fat. Why postpone the inevitable, right?