New Shoes...

What is it about change that makes people damn near run away from it? Why is change such a bad thing? I think that it has to do with people just being comfortable and content with where they are. Anything that threatens that will likely be met with some form of resistance or opposition. I also feel like the older people get the less likely they are to embrace change. I used to see it in my old job a lot. Anytime something new or different came down to incorporate into their job they never wanted to learn it cause the old way worked fine. It would take too much time and energy to learn this new thing, so why bother? I call that the old people mentality. And whenever I catch myself thinking like that I have to stop myself cause I have a fear of looking like my mother.

I don't know if it is the same for the men, but in the women's sections of department stores you have like the Junior's, Misses and then what I call the old people section. Where everything looks like it came from Coldwater Creek. Every time I walk by that section I always ask myself how does one get to the point where they feel like these clothes actually look appealing to them? I need to know so that I don't end up down that road. Now granted I am definitely not the most fashionable person by a long shot. But that doesn't mean I want to be dressing like a grandma either. Just cause someone is old doesn't mean they have to wear boring clothes. But I digress...

So my mother has pretty much bought and worn the same types of clothes for ever. Hair is the same, makeup is the same everything same, same, same. She even still balances her checkbook by hand! Who does that? (old people). I try to get her to try new things but I swear it's like pulling teeth. It is just SO HARD and she fights me the whole way. I on the other hand have kind of always liked switching things up. I like to try new things. But sometimes I catch myself having that old people, anti change mentality about certain things. I will recognize something needs to change and then I still won't do it. Not until I get sick and tired of whatever it was, or the change is forced upon me.

For example, I had these little flat shoes I used to wear to work pretty much all the time. These shoes were SO comfortable I could wear them all day, every day. They were the only comfortable pair of shoes I had and it was almost like I would never find another pair as comfy. But on the flip side man these shoes were RAGGEDY! OMG I shouldda been ashamed to leave the house in these lil things. I would wear them to work, but I would never wear them to go any place else cause I knew they were tore down. It's almost embarrassing how jacked these shoes were. I swear if anyone were to ever take a close look at them, they would probably look at me like I was crazy. Cause it's not like I couldn't afford to buy another pair of shoes. I was just too comfortable in the raggedy ones. And clearly I didn't care that they looked like hell.

Then one day I was on the phone with my mother talking about some unfortunate events that had recently happened in the family. In my mind I'm thinking about the person involved and the whole situation and wondering why they don't just do something different? Just change! But then I happened to look down at my raggedy ass shoes. I realized that I was being a hypocrite. If I can't even go out and buy a new pair of shoes to get out of my lil ol raggedy flats, how do I expect someone to go out and change their LIFE? I can't even change my damn shoes. It was then that I decided to buy some new shoes. Sometimes you gotta just throw old shit out. Even if you feel like you can still use it or still want to keep it around. Once it has served it's purpose, just let it go. I am wearing my new shoes for the first time today. And guess what? They are even MORE comfortable than my old ones!! Imagine that! .

So yeah, while you may feel uneasy, uninterested, uncomfortable or apprehensive about change, it can definitely be a good thing. And just cause something isn't broken, doesn't mean it can't be better. So whether it's a new pair of shoes, or a new path in life, embrace it cause the grass just may be greener on the other side.

A miss- ...

I don't even know what I would call this situation. A miss-communication, misunderstanding, mislabeling, misrepresentation, I don't know, it may be one or all of those, but damnit something is amiss! I honestly can't figure it out and I don't think I ever will so it just is what it is and I'll have to leave it at that. On one hand I kind of feel a little hoodwinked. Like I've had the wool pulled over my eyes. Although really, going back to the whole gut thing, I always knew something wasn't quite right. I was missing something, or there was something I was seeing and just couldn't put a finger on what it was and why it didn't sit well. I still can't.. That ambiguity made me curious though cause I just had to fill in the blanks, but the reality is I should have just let the blanks be blank cause curiosity killed the cat.

How do I explain this? Say someone tells you for example that they live in a great neighborhood. That's all they tell you though. So you want to know how great this place really is. In my mind a great neighborhood would have to posses certain qualities or characteristics that make it great. Maybe it has a lot of amenities like shopping and good schools or whatever the case may be. Bottom line is there are certain things you would expect to find there, and then there are other things you would not expect, and be surprised if you did find them. Like you don't expect to see drug dealers or have a crack house in such a "great" neighborhood. Or have rundown buildings and trash all in the streets.Certain terminology sets expectations.And the only way to find out if something is what you have been told it is, is to go there and see for your self.

So I went there. I checked out the place. It seemed cool on the surface. But I still wasn't completely sold so I remained hesitant. It seemed like there was this one area around the neighborhood that everyone just sort of talked around and would never really tell me the real deal about it. And one day I happened to stumble upon this area for myself. It was filled with selfish disregard and detached indifference. This supposed "great" neighborhood was actually just a facade for a grimey ghetto.

Now who is to blame? The person who misrepresented the situation, or the person who believed them? Or are they both to blame? I feel like there is something to be said for really truly wanting to believe in someone. For me, it's like I want you to be right. I want everything to be as you said it is. That desire sometimes overshadows the gut feeling though. And then here is the problem, if you go with your gut then you become the bad guy because even if you are 100% right it's like, well you don't "KNOW" cause u have no "proof" and you are basically calling the other person a fraud or you're not giving them a chance. But if you wait til you have proof, whelp, guess what, it's STILL your fault cause you allowed yourself to get suckered. It's basically a lose lose and the hoodwinkers of course take no responsibility what so ever.

Now I don't have a problem with ghettos. But it doesn't mean I want to live there either. If it's the hood, say it's the hood. Then let me decide if I want to deal with it or not. Just keep it real, I can respect that.