I crack me up

I know I say this all the time, and I really mean it. I crack me up. If no one else finds me funny, I couldn't care less... I find me funny. And I always have. When I was really young, I used to keep a diary. I still have it too. I also have the journal I used to write in in my middle school English class. Once in a while when I'm in the closet looking for something I stumble upon one of these documents and decided to take a trip down memory lane. Usually the trip is pretty cloudy because I can't always remember what it was I was talking about or the exact situation I was on. But none the less, they usually crack me up. Now that journaling is all online and digital, it makes it that much easier not only to write, but to go back and read.

Today I happened to do just that. Most people don't know that I have more than 1 blog. While this is probably the only one anybody will ever read, I decided to take a peek back at a post or two from my other blog. Sometimes I need a refresher of where I've been and some of the mistakes I've made just to remind me not to make them again. It helps to reinforce lessons I am supposed to have learned and hopefully allow me recognize missteps before I slip, fall and bust my ass...yet again. Other times, I'm simply bored and know it's probably good for at least a laugh or two. So I'm sitting here reading this line in one of my blogs and I was cracking up. It was so poetically over dramatic. I think I was probably having an emo moment. I had to laugh cause I just do NOT write like that on the regular.  I don't think anyone would read this blog if I did. I'd post the quote, but like everything else in that blog, it is too embarrassing. 

Enough chit chat, let me get to my point.  This is simply my pitch to those few of you who do read my blog... Go out there and start your own! Seriously. It may seem like maybe you don't have much to say, or that writing in it consistently is tedious or difficult to remember to do, but I think that when you look back you will realize that it is well worth it. It is your story, told through your eyes in your own words. How could that not be interesting to at least one person? That person being you! Actually my motives for this post are purely selfish. I wish more of my friends had blogs. Like the ones I don't speak to as often. The ones who have gone on to get married, have kids or have amazing adventures, I want to hear all about it.

So here's a suggestion. What if we pretend that this blog was a LOT longer, but it's not? Now you can use the time that you would have spent reading it to go start your own. Who knows, you may find that you crack yourself up too.

TLC

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday, who happens to be about 25 I believe, and he made the statement that he thinks he is going through a quarter life crisis. Then I started thinking, If there really is such a thing as a mid-life crisis, then surely there can be a quarter-life crisis right? So by logical reasoning, if both of those are valid, then surely there is such a thing as a third-life crisis. That may be where I'm at right now. I'm too old for the QLC and too young (although I'm sure someone out there would disagree) for an MLC, even though I'm sure it's coming. That leaves me in the TLC category. Now I wouldn't call this much of a crisis. I don't feel like I'm about to start committing  spontaneous acts of  lunacy. You won't see me go out and buy a motor cycle tomorrow and join hell's angels or shave my head bald. I don't see me quitting my job to become a nomadic Buddhist monk living off the kindness of strangers or all of a sudden deciding to be a lesbian. Let's save the crazy stuff for the MLC. But I do think I am overdue for a change of some sort. Not sure what it is going to be. Maybe I will end up getting a dog. Maybe I'll just cut my hair (as opposed to shave it off) I don't know. I just want to do something different. change things up a little bit. Get away from the norm that I've known for so long.

I'm open for suggestions.

Not so fast and my theory of want

I just finished writing a blog post, but I didn't post it. While I was actually pretty happy with what I came up with,  when I finished I realized that I may be exposing myself just a bit too much. It isn't even something super personal or anything like that. I realized that I I would be revealing one of my HUGE weaknesses. What the hell was I thinking?!?!?! Granted hardly anyone even reads this blog, but then again, you never know. I could have an unknown enemy out there just waiting for the opportunity to insight my demise. Too much? You're right, no one is out to get me. But still, once its out there it's out there, right? This just goes to show that everything that seems like a good idea or harmless at the time, might not always be. So rather than reading about my Achilles heel and my plan to manage it, you are stuck with this post about how you almost got to read it. I'm sure it's just devastating, but you'll get over it, promise.

On another note... A couple of weekends ago I found myself on the not so sunny, partly cloudy, scattered showers shores of Miami, South Beach. I would have to say that this was another successful beach getaway for me this year. I think I was just glad to be out of Tucson and in a place where I'm not completely invisible. I swear things are just so different on the east coast. It makes me wonder what the hell I'm still doing in a place where there is next to no potential. I know I've said I give up. The whole hang up my apron thing. No cooking in the kitchen, blah blah blah. But really I may just be being lazy. I say I've tried, but what have I actually done? Sure I've given ppl a chance who probably less than deserved it, and allowed things to sorta see where they go, but all of that is reactive, not proactive. There is this saying that goes something like "to get what you've never had, you need to do what you've never done" somewhere along those lines. Then there is my whole car theory of want. I've probably told this story before. But back before I had a car, I really wanted a car. I wanted a car so bad I practically starved myself for an entire summer to save up enough money to buy it. For me that is the bar by which I gauge how badly I want something. If I'm not willing to sacrifice for it, then I don't really want it. Period.

I applied this same principle this past week when I went to the Humane society to look at dogs. I saw this one pit there and I swear I just adored him. I even liked his name, Kino. Granted there is a good chance I'm probably allergic to him, but he gave me the "please take me home" eyes. Almost got me, til I sat down and thought about it. What am I going to have to give up to have a dog? Clean carpet? my mornings, afternoons and weekends? having another bill? Was I willing to sacrifice? Do I really want a dog that badly? NOPE! At least not right now. But maybe I'll change my mind. Same thing goes for kids. I don't even half want kids as bad as I wanted a car back then. I just don't. And until I feel that way, I'm perfectly happy with being everyone's favorite auntie.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, the whole dating thing. If I really wanted to date somebody I could. So when I say there is no one to date that is an outright lie. It's just how badly do I want it? What am I willing to sacrafice? What is it that I can do that I haven't tried? I basically have 3 options, 1: Be more proactive and expand my pool. B: Settle.  III: Move. It's that simple. And when I put it like that, seeing as how it isn't raining men out here like it would be if I lived anywhere else, it becomes clear that I must be happy being single, or at the very least don't want badly enough for anything to change. So single I will stay.

The end.