Cookie Compromise

I cannot stand when ppl do stuff that doesn't make sense simply because they won't say what they really want. Maybe it's because they don't want to be declined, idk. I'll admit, in general my default response to a lot of things is no. At the same time, I am the type of person that will try to work something out with people, most of the time.. Compromise, come up with some alternatives or whatever the case may be, but it's impossible to do that if someone isn't even honest about what they really want. Cause the solution could be very simple, or maybe there isn't one at all. But if ppl were honest, solutions, or lack there of, could at the very least be recognized up front.  Now am I guilty of doing this? Probably. Doesn't make it any less annoying though. Besides I can't think of an example for me, but I do have one of someone else....

I was once talking to this dude and we were just cool, kinda getting to know each other or whatever. He invited me to visit, and I agreed cause it wasn't like I had anything else to do, so why not right? So I'm on the phone with him one day telling him I'm about to bake some cookies (real cookies, not metaphorical ones). He asks me if I'd bake him some cookies when I came, which was probably within a week or less if I remember correctly. I explain to him that he probably doesn't have all of the things I'd need to make these particular cookies and besides it takes entirely too long to make them for me to be doing a whole other batch when I'm bout to make them now. Dude tells me he'll buy everything I need to make the cookies. In my head I'm thinking that would be doing ALL the way THEEE most cause he'd need a stand mixer, cookie press, melting chocolates and all the ingredients I already have that he will never even use again. That makes no sense and I tell him this. I then offer to just send him some cookies (attempt to compromise #1)

He says no, he wants fresh cookies. Had this been a face to face convo, dude wouldda gotten the side eye. Me being the good sport that I am continue to try and work out an alternative. Looking at the situation, I figure, ok, so not only does he want these particular cookies, he wants fresh ones. That's a fair assessment right? I'll just give him the recipe and he can make them himself. Cause I'm not about to make these bitches twice in the same week for no damn reason. So I offer up my alternative (attempt to compromise #2). What does dude say? No, I want you to make them. WTF? Not only do you want my cookies, but u want me to make them AND they have to be fresh out the oven. Keep in mind dude has never even tasted these cookies. He has no idea what he is even asking for! So at this point I feel like I can't help him. I offered him my cookies made by me, but they wouldn't be fresh out the oven, that was no good. I offered the same cookies, fresh out the oven, but made by his own hand, still no go. I'm thinking there is NO WAY he's getting all 3 cause I REFUSE to make these cookies again just cause he want to get his way. I'll give it one more go though.Ok, last option is I will make u some cookies, they will be fresh, but they gotta come from the store. Final offer (attempt #3). Think he accepts? Of course not. So I tell him, well I guess you won't be getting any cookies then. You know what this dude had the nerve to say to me?!?!?! That I need to learn how to compromise!!! GTFOH, that's what I wanted to say. I think I mighta been low key annoyed at that one. Then come to find out, dude didn't even really want any damn cookies in the first place. So you tell me what exactly was the purpose of this conversation? Got me racking my brain trying to help you out and for NOTHING? You don't even want any cookies???!!! Apparently he just wanted me to make him something. Do something nice for him or whatever.  Now think if he wouldda just said that in the first place? SMH.

The other problem I saw was, why do you have to work so hard to actually try and get me to do something nice for you? Doesn't that make it artificial? If it doesn't come from me then is the gesture even genuine? It seemed like dude wanted me to cook for him, but I had no desire to cook at all. And the fact that it seemed like he was trying so hard to make it happen, made me all the way opposed to it. I hate when ppl try to get me to do stuff I don't wanna do, for no reason other than just cause they wanna see me do it.

Personally I think he just wanted to get me in the kitchen. I feel like he has this thing about women in a certain place and was trying to get me to fit his ideals. I got the impression that dude is looking for someone to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with a child on one arm and a frying pan in the other cooking and cleaning and having his dinner ready when he gets home.I already told him that ain't me tho. So anyone who tries to get me to fit some preconceived notion of what they think I should be needs to preconceive failure. I ain't about that life.