I cannot stand when ppl do stuff that doesn't make sense simply because they won't say what they really want. Maybe it's because they don't want to be declined, idk. I'll admit, in general my default response to a lot of things is no. At the same time, I am the type of person that will try to work something out with people, most of the time.. Compromise, come up with some alternatives or whatever the case may be, but it's impossible to do that if someone isn't even honest about what they really want. Cause the solution could be very simple, or maybe there isn't one at all. But if ppl were honest, solutions, or lack there of, could at the very least be recognized up front. Now am I guilty of doing this? Probably. Doesn't make it any less annoying though. Besides I can't think of an example for me, but I do have one of someone else....
I was once talking to this dude and we were just cool, kinda getting to know each other or whatever. He invited me to visit, and I agreed cause it wasn't like I had anything else to do, so why not right? So I'm on the phone with him one day telling him I'm about to bake some cookies (real cookies, not metaphorical ones). He asks me if I'd bake him some cookies when I came, which was probably within a week or less if I remember correctly. I explain to him that he probably doesn't have all of the things I'd need to make these particular cookies and besides it takes entirely too long to make them for me to be doing a whole other batch when I'm bout to make them now. Dude tells me he'll buy everything I need to make the cookies. In my head I'm thinking that would be doing ALL the way THEEE most cause he'd need a stand mixer, cookie press, melting chocolates and all the ingredients I already have that he will never even use again. That makes no sense and I tell him this. I then offer to just send him some cookies (attempt to compromise #1)
He says no, he wants fresh cookies. Had this been a face to face convo, dude wouldda gotten the side eye. Me being the good sport that I am continue to try and work out an alternative. Looking at the situation, I figure, ok, so not only does he want these particular cookies, he wants fresh ones. That's a fair assessment right? I'll just give him the recipe and he can make them himself. Cause I'm not about to make these bitches twice in the same week for no damn reason. So I offer up my alternative (attempt to compromise #2). What does dude say? No, I want you to make them. WTF? Not only do you want my cookies, but u want me to make them AND they have to be fresh out the oven. Keep in mind dude has never even tasted these cookies. He has no idea what he is even asking for! So at this point I feel like I can't help him. I offered him my cookies made by me, but they wouldn't be fresh out the oven, that was no good. I offered the same cookies, fresh out the oven, but made by his own hand, still no go. I'm thinking there is NO WAY he's getting all 3 cause I REFUSE to make these cookies again just cause he want to get his way. I'll give it one more go though.Ok, last option is I will make u some cookies, they will be fresh, but they gotta come from the store. Final offer (attempt #3). Think he accepts? Of course not. So I tell him, well I guess you won't be getting any cookies then. You know what this dude had the nerve to say to me?!?!?! That I need to learn how to compromise!!! GTFOH, that's what I wanted to say. I think I mighta been low key annoyed at that one. Then come to find out, dude didn't even really want any damn cookies in the first place. So you tell me what exactly was the purpose of this conversation? Got me racking my brain trying to help you out and for NOTHING? You don't even want any cookies???!!! Apparently he just wanted me to make him something. Do something nice for him or whatever. Now think if he wouldda just said that in the first place? SMH.
The other problem I saw was, why do you have to work so hard to actually try and get me to do something nice for you? Doesn't that make it artificial? If it doesn't come from me then is the gesture even genuine? It seemed like dude wanted me to cook for him, but I had no desire to cook at all. And the fact that it seemed like he was trying so hard to make it happen, made me all the way opposed to it. I hate when ppl try to get me to do stuff I don't wanna do, for no reason other than just cause they wanna see me do it.
Personally I think he just wanted to get me in the kitchen. I feel like he has this thing about women in a certain place and was trying to get me to fit his ideals. I got the impression that dude is looking for someone to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen with a child on one arm and a frying pan in the other cooking and cleaning and having his dinner ready when he gets home.I already told him that ain't me tho. So anyone who tries to get me to fit some preconceived notion of what they think I should be needs to preconceive failure. I ain't about that life.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
The New Puce...
Someone asked me the other day, not if I have ever been in love, but ever felt love for someone. That got me thinking... How do you even know, and what's the difference? What exactly does love look like? Has anyone ever seen it walking around? What color is it?
I mean I got love. I know what that is. I got love for my peeps. Got love for the homies. Oh, and I can show some love *claps hands* like they say at concerts and performances. But being in love, and feeling love for someone, probably not the same thing.. It's kinda like puce. For those that don't know, puce is a color. I have known this for a while. It's actually sort of a joke between my bff and I, which is neither here nor there. But even though I knew it was a color, I couldn't tell you what it looked like even though I suspected it was a shade of pink. Then when I finally saw it, and it was actually identified, it was like, oh ok, yeah that looks like it could be puce. I'll buy it. But when was the last time love was staring me right in my face? (don't answer that) Who has ever pointed it out and defined it? I may be thinking it's green, when it's actually some shade of purple. What the hell do I know?
Plus people, including myself, use the word so often, who is to say what it really means. I guess there are just different kinds of love. I mean, I love me some Chipotle. Mighta saved my life this past weekend actually. Or I love Dulce de Leche cheesecake (Why am I not surprised that food would be the first example I thought of? Might be my first love) That's very different from how I love my mamma.
At any rate, hopefully I'll know it when I see it. I think I will, at least that's what I tell myself. Until then, its just like puce to me.
I mean I got love. I know what that is. I got love for my peeps. Got love for the homies. Oh, and I can show some love *claps hands* like they say at concerts and performances. But being in love, and feeling love for someone, probably not the same thing.. It's kinda like puce. For those that don't know, puce is a color. I have known this for a while. It's actually sort of a joke between my bff and I, which is neither here nor there. But even though I knew it was a color, I couldn't tell you what it looked like even though I suspected it was a shade of pink. Then when I finally saw it, and it was actually identified, it was like, oh ok, yeah that looks like it could be puce. I'll buy it. But when was the last time love was staring me right in my face? (don't answer that) Who has ever pointed it out and defined it? I may be thinking it's green, when it's actually some shade of purple. What the hell do I know?
Plus people, including myself, use the word so often, who is to say what it really means. I guess there are just different kinds of love. I mean, I love me some Chipotle. Mighta saved my life this past weekend actually. Or I love Dulce de Leche cheesecake (Why am I not surprised that food would be the first example I thought of? Might be my first love) That's very different from how I love my mamma.
At any rate, hopefully I'll know it when I see it. I think I will, at least that's what I tell myself. Until then, its just like puce to me.
Friday, July 22, 2011
My portfolio
OMG I'm so bored right now. I'm sitting here clock watching and I got like freaking 3 HOURS to go! I can't. So I decided to blog in the meantime. Maybe this will kill 20 minutes if I'm lucky. But what to talk about?
...?...?... Ok got something.
Earlier this week, or maybe late last week, I can't remember, I was having a conversation with someone about investments. Not the typical type of investment that you may think, say in terms of money or the stock market. But emotional investment. It just so happened that the whole money and stock analogy fit in very well. So questions to you all (all 2 of you) is what determines if you become emotionally invested in a person? Is it by choice? Involuntary? or a combination of both? How do you keep from making bad investment decisions? Stocks? bonds? Mutual funds? Do you diversify your portfolio and invest in multiple areas?
Personally I have never found myself invested in more than one opportunity (or in-opportunity) at a time. That might be the one area I'm incapable of multitasking at. In terms of the voluntary or involuntary, eh, I'm not sure. For example, if I meet a nice guy (or more realistically someone who ain't shit) maybe get to know them a little and there is something that I find attractive about them, you might be able to say that I "like" them, at least a lil. Call it a crush, or infatuation I don't really care. But I would consider the attraction part involuntary. Of course this doesn't equal investment. However, the climate for investment opportunities just got that much more favorable simply off of attraction.
In my mind though, just because I like you, that doesn't mean a damn thing. Doesn't mean I'd date you. Doesn't mean I'll sleep with you. It doesn't even mean I'mma talk to you. It means nothing. It just is what it is. If nothing comes from it, I'll get over it. Then it's on to the next one (which out here could be months if not years in between).
Now as for poor investment decisions, I definitely have my fair share in the past, comparatively speaking. Pretty much every guy I have ever invested in has either played me or turned out to be a disappointment in one way or another. It's really only recently that I feel I might actually be learning from these mistakes. The only problem with learning from them is that it may make it that much more difficult for the next dude to get any sort of buy-in.
Before I kind of always wanted a relationship. Or I was in some way searching for someone whether it be actively or passively. Today though, I think I can honestly say IDGAF. Single, not single - who cares. No dates in idk how long - so what. Nothing but lames and losers trying to get at me (if anybody at all) - pfft whatever. I'm done caring about this stuff. It could be this attitude that ultimately causes me to be some kind of childless, manless old maid/cat lady with no cats. Eh... F it. Right now I'm good with me. I have a stress free, drama free, carefree, responsibility and obligation free life. I can do whatever the hell I want. That right there, sounds pretty damn good to me.
But back to investments... I'm not opposed to investing. Not at all. I just need to find a good stable mutual fund. Maybe I should seek the help of a financial adviser. So when the time comes to plan for retirement, I can invest wisely. Until then, I may research the opportunities that come my way. Maybe drop a couple dollars here or there, just nothing I can't afford to lose if the market crashes.
...?...?... Ok got something.
Earlier this week, or maybe late last week, I can't remember, I was having a conversation with someone about investments. Not the typical type of investment that you may think, say in terms of money or the stock market. But emotional investment. It just so happened that the whole money and stock analogy fit in very well. So questions to you all (all 2 of you) is what determines if you become emotionally invested in a person? Is it by choice? Involuntary? or a combination of both? How do you keep from making bad investment decisions? Stocks? bonds? Mutual funds? Do you diversify your portfolio and invest in multiple areas?
Personally I have never found myself invested in more than one opportunity (or in-opportunity) at a time. That might be the one area I'm incapable of multitasking at. In terms of the voluntary or involuntary, eh, I'm not sure. For example, if I meet a nice guy (or more realistically someone who ain't shit) maybe get to know them a little and there is something that I find attractive about them, you might be able to say that I "like" them, at least a lil. Call it a crush, or infatuation I don't really care. But I would consider the attraction part involuntary. Of course this doesn't equal investment. However, the climate for investment opportunities just got that much more favorable simply off of attraction.
In my mind though, just because I like you, that doesn't mean a damn thing. Doesn't mean I'd date you. Doesn't mean I'll sleep with you. It doesn't even mean I'mma talk to you. It means nothing. It just is what it is. If nothing comes from it, I'll get over it. Then it's on to the next one (which out here could be months if not years in between).
Now as for poor investment decisions, I definitely have my fair share in the past, comparatively speaking. Pretty much every guy I have ever invested in has either played me or turned out to be a disappointment in one way or another. It's really only recently that I feel I might actually be learning from these mistakes. The only problem with learning from them is that it may make it that much more difficult for the next dude to get any sort of buy-in.
Before I kind of always wanted a relationship. Or I was in some way searching for someone whether it be actively or passively. Today though, I think I can honestly say IDGAF. Single, not single - who cares. No dates in idk how long - so what. Nothing but lames and losers trying to get at me (if anybody at all) - pfft whatever. I'm done caring about this stuff. It could be this attitude that ultimately causes me to be some kind of childless, manless old maid/cat lady with no cats. Eh... F it. Right now I'm good with me. I have a stress free, drama free, carefree, responsibility and obligation free life. I can do whatever the hell I want. That right there, sounds pretty damn good to me.
But back to investments... I'm not opposed to investing. Not at all. I just need to find a good stable mutual fund. Maybe I should seek the help of a financial adviser. So when the time comes to plan for retirement, I can invest wisely. Until then, I may research the opportunities that come my way. Maybe drop a couple dollars here or there, just nothing I can't afford to lose if the market crashes.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
This, That and The Other...
When I first started this blog, I was doing really well. Now it seems like I fell off. I think that one of my (many) problems is that I freestyle with my time way too much. All of the things that I want to do and need to do need to be scheduled. Not only scheduled, but done at the scheduled time. No more flexibility like I been doing, cause then stuff doesn't get done.
Granted I'm single, no kids, no boo, so I feel I can do whatever I want whenever I want and the only person it affects is me. But it's getting to a point where this just isn't working. I need some order in my life. Its time to get it together. Not tomorrow, or this weekend or next week, but NOW. So what can I do right now to bring some order to my life? Ummmmm.... gimme a min to think about this.
Ok, I got it. I once saw or read or heard this thing by Chalene Johnson where she talked about goals. And one of the tips she gave was really simple... Make a list.
So starting today I'm going to make a list every day of everything I want to do. I'm even going to schedule a reminder in my phone and block out some list making time. Then I'll post back here in a week to see how it worked out... lemme schedule that in my calendar too while I'm thinking about it.
In other news...
I'm BROKE! idk what in the hell I been doing, but it has been WAAAAAY too much. I will be FORCED to sit my ass down at the end of the summer cause all my lil spending money is bout to be GONE! On the other hand, I definitely can't say that I have been bored. In the past couple months I've done more shopping than I have this entire year. I have kicked it in phx 3 times (no gen pop) and spent a week in Jamaica. Now I have Miami and Hawaii coming up plus Kat Williams is gonna be in Phoenix all in the next couple months. After that I'm going underground not to be heard from for at least a month (LiesItell).
On another note though... I don't know if I've ever mentioned it in this blog, but I have been facilitating classes at Tucson Pole Fitness for the past maybe 3 months or so. When I originally offered to do it, I told Jess (the owner) that I'd do it for free if I could take classes for free. And she was cool with that. I'm actually still cool with that, but yesterday when I went in to teach, I saw a note on the clip board and under it was a check. She actually paid me! Now granted it isn't much (it is maybe enough to put gas in my car) but it's just something about getting paid to do something that you would do for free regardless, ya know? It makes me wonder what it would be like to be able to live off of doing something I completely enjoy. Definitely some food for thought.
And with that, Ciao for now.
Granted I'm single, no kids, no boo, so I feel I can do whatever I want whenever I want and the only person it affects is me. But it's getting to a point where this just isn't working. I need some order in my life. Its time to get it together. Not tomorrow, or this weekend or next week, but NOW. So what can I do right now to bring some order to my life? Ummmmm.... gimme a min to think about this.
Ok, I got it. I once saw or read or heard this thing by Chalene Johnson where she talked about goals. And one of the tips she gave was really simple... Make a list.
So starting today I'm going to make a list every day of everything I want to do. I'm even going to schedule a reminder in my phone and block out some list making time. Then I'll post back here in a week to see how it worked out... lemme schedule that in my calendar too while I'm thinking about it.
In other news...
I'm BROKE! idk what in the hell I been doing, but it has been WAAAAAY too much. I will be FORCED to sit my ass down at the end of the summer cause all my lil spending money is bout to be GONE! On the other hand, I definitely can't say that I have been bored. In the past couple months I've done more shopping than I have this entire year. I have kicked it in phx 3 times (no gen pop) and spent a week in Jamaica. Now I have Miami and Hawaii coming up plus Kat Williams is gonna be in Phoenix all in the next couple months. After that I'm going underground not to be heard from for at least a month (LiesItell).
On another note though... I don't know if I've ever mentioned it in this blog, but I have been facilitating classes at Tucson Pole Fitness for the past maybe 3 months or so. When I originally offered to do it, I told Jess (the owner) that I'd do it for free if I could take classes for free. And she was cool with that. I'm actually still cool with that, but yesterday when I went in to teach, I saw a note on the clip board and under it was a check. She actually paid me! Now granted it isn't much (it is maybe enough to put gas in my car) but it's just something about getting paid to do something that you would do for free regardless, ya know? It makes me wonder what it would be like to be able to live off of doing something I completely enjoy. Definitely some food for thought.
And with that, Ciao for now.
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