CSD - Day 5

MEAT!!! Finally! Today I get steak and even though I'm not a big steak/beef person, I surely did have a piece of steak this morning. That was over an hour and a half ago and I'm still full. I bought a steak yesterday that was just under a pound and marinated it over night in soy sauce, hoisin sauce, steak seasoning, garlic, green onions and spicy mustard. Took about a third of it, which was more than enough and stuck it under the broiler this morning. Had some soup with it. Not too bad if I do say so myself. Definitely need to catch up on my water though. I'm also supposed to eat tomatoes. Not sure how I'mma do that one tho. I'll have to figure something out for lunch.

I'm sitting here looking at the diet and I just don't know if I'mma lose any more weight in these last 3 days. I'll probably have to hit the gym and do a real workout rather than sitting in the house.

CSD - Day 3 and 4

Yesterday was day 3 fruits n veggies. I cheated. That's all I'mma say about that. Moving on. Today is day 4, banana's and skim milk. I think I can make it til the end without cheating now that I got it out of my system. Not only that but I get to have meat tomorrow and on day 6 so that will really help. It's not even that I'm craving sweets which is a surprise cause that's my weakness. I just want some MEAT! I went to the grocery store today and bought a steak for tomorrow. Which reminds me I need to make sure I season it tonight. To be honest though, I don't even really want a steak. I think I would rather have fish or chicken. But I'll eat the steak. I haven't had steak in a while. I get to have steak tomorrow too, but I'll probably do fish.

I've had 2 bananas today and am on my second serving of soup. It actually tastes pretty good to me too. I think it's because I haven't been eating it all day every day. Just a few times a day. Oh and I've lost about 3 lbs so far, even with what I ate yesterday. If I can lose 3 or 4 more, that would be great. I know I'm not losing any real weight, but what this diet is doing is getting my appetite and unreasonable food cravings under control. That's probably the most important part. The goal is to get myself to a place where I won't OD on Thursday which is Thanksgiving. I'll be going over LB's house and then I'll probably swing by my grandma's too (I say that like they live near eachother).

Looking forward to my steak tomorrow. I really want a baked potato though. the one I had on Friday was REALLY good. I think if I could, I would trade the steak for the potato.

That's about it for now.

CSD - Day 2

Today is probably one of the worst days of CSD for me... the VEGGIE day (insert ominous music here). Just soup and veggies. I'm not a big veggie person so for me it will just be soup. Not only that, I didn't buy any veggies to eat today at the store and I'm not going back. On the plus side though I do get a baked potato which I'm really looking forward to. So much so that I already washed and wrapped it in foil and placed it in the toaster oven ready and waiting to be baked. I get to load it up with butter (within reason) and I plan to put lots of low fat sour cream on it. May not be part of the diet, but I don't care. It's low fat, I'm already eating butter and the potato is nothing but carbs so what's a little more of both? I got up and worked out today too. I'm not tired, and I'm not even really hungry. Sitting here eating my soup for breakfast though. It doesn't even taste that bad to me today. I did sorta cheat this morning during my workout and had a zipfizz. It's only 10 calories though so I could probably sneeze and burn that off.

12:20 pm - Stupid, stupid, stupid potato! It's been baking for an HOUR and isn't even CLOSE to being done. I am STARVING!!! Someone please tell my potato to hurry the hell up. 

CSD - Day 1

Lately I've been having a really hard time getting my weight back under control. With the holidays right around the corner and the fact that I decided to do probably the single worst thing I could ever do to myself with regards to my weight - go home - I decided some drastic measures were in order. So I went to the grocery store last night and bought all of the ingredients that I needed to start the Cabbage soup diet today.

I did this diet once before years ago with LB and I already know it's death. I'm sure I'll be sick of the soup by day 3. I might already be sick of it now and I've only had a little bit. It's not even 9 am and I'm already starving. I also plan to try and work out every day. Probably not the best idea, but I'm going to try anyway. I'm going to try and do one post a day and just document how I feel throughout the day. So just fruit and soup today. Oh and I did an initial wt - 135 WHEW! Need to drop 10-15 lbs Whelp, here goes!

8:40 am - Just finished the little bit of soup I had dished out probably an hour ago. I'm starving and dizzy. I don't want any soup. I think I'll go drink some water =/

11:30 am - Still starving even though I drank some water and ate an apple. I'm having some more soup. We'll see how long it takes me to finish this serving. I almost cheated though cause I really really want some peanut butter (of all things right?) And I mean I just started, so what's one little cheat on day 1? Totally the wrong mindset to have, I know. I just need to keep myself busy and my mind on things other than food. I had planned to work out this afternoon, but all I really want to do is take a nap.

12:30 pm - Somebody kill me now. Just woke up from a nap. I think i feel a headache coming on. I wonder if this is all in my head tho. I go longer than this on a Saturday without eating a thing and it doesn't bother me a bit. AAALLL that food I ate yesterday shouldda been able to hold me over. It's gotta be mental. Can't be anything else. Ok, off to the store to buy some fruit. I'm sure that will help.

7:30 pm - I pretty much made it through the day. I just came from the mall and was in here trying on clothes trying to find something to wear to this concert tomorrow. Nothing fits. I look like a beached manatee. Makes me not want to even eat. Totally depressed and don't feel like going to the concert either. Well I'll go to the concert, but maybe I'll skip the club. idk, just not in the mood to do much of anything at the moment. I hate everything right now. Skipping dinner, I'm going to sleep.

When's the last round?

I think I may have had an epiphany this morning. Ok, epiphany might be a bit of a strong word but I did realize something. I was sitting, well standing, in the doorway of my guest bathroom after just weighing myself. I was trying to figure out when I'm going to start myself on a new workout schedule. Then I started to think, how many times have I been here? Probably too many times to count. I know I started back when I was in high school. There was a class trip coming up and I wanted  to wear this little mid drift top I had bought without my mother knowing. I probably lost weight by starving myself since that is what is popular among teenage girls. At any rate I rocked my little shirt and thought I was 2 cute. Eventually I gained the weight back tho. So that I'd say was round 1.

Round 2 was college and the damn freshman 15. I lost that and then some, again by starving myself and working out twice a day. I must say, when I look back at pics from that time I looked almost sick. I was way to little. But clearly I didn't feel that way at the time. Definitely don't want to go back though. I know I must've had a another relapse at some point during college (always do) and subsequently felt the need to lose a bunch of weight again. We'll call that round 3.

4, 5 and 6+ Have been since I moved to Tucson. Not even sure how many times I've yo-yo'd since I've been out here, but at least 3 or 4 times. But basically I have been trying to lose the same 10 - 25 lbs since I was in high school. Maybe not the exact same, but my point is it's been 12 years and I still have made no progress. In fact if I think about myself 12 yrs ago and now I've actually made, um... what's the opposite of progress? Congress? (A lil election day humor)

I came to realize this this morning because for some reason I was looking around at all the fitness paraphernalia I have in the house. I felt the need to try and calculate how much I've spent over the past 6 years. Why you may or may not be asking? Because I was about to order some more crap online and I was asking myself is this really a justified purchase? Is this going to be the one thing that does it? After I buy this one laaaaast item, I'll be in shape for the rest of my life? OF COURSE NOT! If I include gym memberships with all the crap sitting around my house I've spent over 3g's trying to lose the same weight. 3 g's!! and I have NOTHING to show for it. This is probably why the fitness industry makes so much money, because of people like me (smh, they got me good).

I have been throwing money at a problem all these years like that's going to solve it. I've got so much crap idk if I can even name it all. On top of my gym membership there is P90X, Insanity, Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire, Chalean Extreme,  an exercise pole, Fluidity, resistance bands, yoga mat, a couple of hand weights, ankle and wrist weights, a chin up bar a $400 blender for goodness sakes!! A BLENDER!!! WTF?!?! When does it end?

That's it! I'm not spending ANY MORE MONEY on fitness crap. I AM DONE! (after I buy this one last thing then I'm done). Seriously though. I probably need to look into a change in life style if getting in shape is what I really want. Once I change my mind, my life style and my relationship with food. that's when it ends I guess. And all that is free.  I am getting way too old to be out of shape. If I don't do something now, I might as well just give up and get fat. Why postpone the inevitable, right?